With the May 1 deadline passed, and commitment photos posted, a new problem for seniors arises amidst their second semester senioritis. Finding a college roommate stands as a formidable challenge to seniors who are looking to start off their next chapter on the right foot. With many in search of someone that’s compatible with them, lines blur between achieving an end goal and finding authentic connection in an online space.
In an age of digital performativity and online personas, a desire for organic conversation comes crossfire with how we want to be perceived. Whether we post to be considered outgoing, or lack posts with the intention of being mysterious, the profiles we make on social media are designed in our likeness, not our reality.
Still, it can be hard to acknowledge the difference between the two when posting on these college roommate accounts is an advertisement– literally. If incoming freshmen want to try their luck finding a roommate through Instagram, they can follow and post on roommate accounts specific to their college. Many of these accounts require small transaction fees to be paid before agreeing to post people on their page. This, in effect, can further pressure users to cater their interests and hobbies to a broader audience.
In a recent conversation with a friend, she warned me about the dangers of saying you “liked video games” on your profile, “I heard it will attract a bunch of bums” she told me. Preconceived conceptions of what hobbies equate to further force students to water down their interests in order to appeal to their future classmates.
Students like senior Cassidy McClain worry that a lack of posts on Instagram may affect their chances of finding roommates. “I feel like people can’t really see much of my personality if I don’t have many posts, so maybe they won’t be as interested as someone who has twenty posts with all their highlights public and stuff.” She noted that she felt those who posted on the roommate accounts generally had active social media accounts with frequent posts.
An article by the Stanford Report discusses how upon first meeting people, humans tend to “make these bleak assumptions about each other in the abstract when asked what “people” are like” yet “less so when interacting with real, flesh and blood humans.” Such superficial assumptions are only further exacerbated by social media. Those whose posts aren’t up to par in angles and aesthetics may receive lower engagement and interest. “The way you present yourself attracts certain people,” said Student X. “I’m not very active on Instagram so I don’t really think I convey who I am through my platform.” Similarly to McClain, this student felt like their lack of presence on social media has negatively affected their account traction with others.
Even once conversations are built past first perception, stepping beyond the bounds of “interested individual” to roommate may almost feel like an incoming freshman taboo. “It’s kind of crazy,” said Student X. “We’re all doing this social media thing because we want to find roommates, but people hate it when you just say it up front… they want to have a natural conversation, but how is that possible online?”
So what’s an alternative solution to a process that may offer mixed or lackluster results? For senior Daniel Neira, his college’s unique roommate pairing process gave him an “out” of the struggles of finding a roommate. An incoming freshman at the University of San Diego, Neira said, “you have to fill out a super extensive form asking really specific things about you. It’s not only “what time do you wake up?” [but it’s also] “What kind of music do you listen to?” “What are your political views?…then they match you to
whoever is closest.” When hearing of this process Neira felt “it was generally super nice to hear.”
As a guy, Neira discussed how even when searching through social media, options tend to be a lot slimmer. Due to a lack of guys posting, Neira said, “I have friends that are just like, ‘I’m just going to do random and hope for the best.’”
McClain, who has been a roommate several times in past summer camps offered some advice for those still struggling to find matches, commenting “I feel like the most important thing to do is compromise, because you are going to be in a completely different environment from everything you’ve ever known. You’re going to have a whole plan of how things should be, but the thing is, a lot of the time, that doesn’t really happen, so it’s good to be adaptable and flexible.”
The ongoing clash between person and persona has forced students to consider several mindsets. While on one hand, everyone wants to be their authentic-self, pushing out of your comfort zone in an online space can make navigating that journey difficult. At the end of the day, while each college choice made may seem like a milestone, embrace each outcome in the moment. Each narrative is in your grasp, if only you have the courage to hold it.
