When the topic of self-love is raised, most may think of simply liking what they see looking back at them in their reflection. Self-love can often be a subject that most people brush off as irrelevant or unimportant, not realizing the cruciality of it. Neglecting to love the one thing that will always be with you as you navigate life can make simply existing become incredibly depressing and lonely. In realizing how far you’ve fallen into the depths of insecurity, most tend to feel hopeless; feeling that self-appreciation is out-of-reach or not possible. It can take a lot of mental will-power to realize that even though self-love requires patience and consistent work, it’s reachable for everyone; no matter how deep they’ve fallen into the pit of insecurity.
One big reason behind almost everyone’s struggle to love themselves is social media and societal expectations. Junior Reese Luster believes “a lot of people struggle from societal pressure because now there’s social media, and so there’s so many expectations put on young boys and girls of what to look like, how to act, and stuff like that and it’s a lot of pressure to meet those [standards] so you just never feel complete when you’re attempting to achieve those expectations; it becomes really hard to love yourself.” Social media and expectations from peers are never consistent and are always evolving into something new. Subsequently, making everyone satisfied becomes an impossible and draining task.
Loving yourself affects many aspects of life from happiness, the way you accept love, and your overall mindset when navigating life; and most fail to realize the amount of weight loving yourself has. Luster said, “if you can find the strength to love yourself, then you can find the strength to love others, and that just creates better connections with the people around you.” Freshman Aubrey Lieneweg agreed and said, “it’s just kind of hard to show other people love if you can’t show yourself that same love.” Being able to love yourself will allow you to surround yourself with people that you have the strength to love, and give you the strength to accept that love from them. After all, if you can’t hold love for yourself, how do you expect to give and accept love from others?
When you’re able to realize your self-worth, you’re satisfying an internal void that changes the way you view life. But in the absence of this realization, people begin searching for something or someone to fill that void for them. Lieneweg says, “If you can’t love yourself then you seek love from other people because you need someone to love you.” In response to lacking self-love, people naturally begin searching around other places for something that will satisfy this empty void, not understanding that the only thing that can fill that emptiness is our own love.
Mistakenly, people will come to believe that they’re the only ones feeling insecure about themselves despite the fact that being able to truly love yourself is a hard thing to achieve, and pretty much everyone at one point in their life will struggle to love themselves. Many people fall victim to a life-long struggle of not loving themselves. Comparison and high standards are often being seen as the main reason behind these feelings. As we all sit and stare at the gorgeous hair of one person and then appreciate the captivating smile of another, we can fail to recognize a person admiring us, wishing they had the one thing we seem to dislike on ourselves.
Sinking into the abyss of self-disapproval may make you perceive self-love as something unattainable; though self-love is possible for anyone – it’s all about your mindset. Many people will try different strategies and activities to help change their point of view on how they look and treat themselves. Luster said, “doing everything to make yourself feel complete like surrounding yourself with good people, making sure you feel healthy, doing things for you and not other people,” are all great ways to improve your mindset when you’re having a hard time appreciating yourself.
Loving yourself is hard, there are constant obstacles stuck on the road towards achieving self-love, and overcoming these obstacles can feel unbelievably hard. Despite the difficulties one has faced, reaching genuine self-love is so important due to how much it influences one’s lifestyle and happiness. Lacking self-appreciation because of your focus on societal standards can often lead to an isolated and absent life. Luster believes, “if you try to break yourself to fit other people’s expectations you’re just gonna hurt yourself more. So sticking to who you are and who you want to be is the best thing to do for yourself.” Furthermore, loving yourself opens up infinite opportunities including being able to love, and being able to feel loved by the people that make your life worth living.
