Golden Arches Invade: Moraga May Not Want Another Fast Food Chain

Mariana Aguirre, Staff Writer

Have you ever read a Marvel comic that involved the gargantuan villain Galactus? He parasitically sucks life from a planet’s core, destroying that earth and all its peoples.  Imagine that fiend with fluffy red hair and a yellow jumpsuit when you hear the news that McDonald’s plans to invade Moraga, then you may understand the plight not only of this town, but that of the rest of the world as well.

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is a myth completely disproven by consumption of McDonald’s “meals.” According to, these foods are high in fats, salts, and sugars, and low in vitamins and fiber; plus they’re laden with preservatives and other chemicals. This leads to clogged arteries, heart disease, cancer, and diabetes, none of which, of course, would make one “stronger.”

One would not expect this restaurant to get much business, especially seeing how Moraga is already home to Nations, Taco Bell, Jack in the Box, Mountain Mike’s, Roundtable, Burger King and Subway. And frankly, the franchise is best received by lower-income areas where education isn’t a priority.

Yoga-toned Lamorinda citizens tend to value their health, and also have access to Whole Foods and Diablo Foods.

In addition, as meat is the crux of fast food appeal, these chains lead to the abuse and death of over 27 billion chickens (nuggets), cows (hamburgers), and pigs (McRib, anyone?) a year, says animal-rights advocate organization PETA.

Chickens are hung by their feet, their bones broken due to careless transport (over 1 million die in transit a year), and then have their throats sliced. Some are slaughtered by being scalded alive in boiling water.

Also, animals are raised in cramped cages or pens, often unable to turn around or lay down, a perfect environment for the spread of disease. Animals are pumped full of antibiotics and hormones, leading to human consumption of countless chemicals. (

Next time you consider a burger, think of a pretty bovine named Bessie, who never got to frolic in verdant pastures, her youthful leg muscle indifferently devoured for the profit of some miserly McScrooge.

The idea of planting a McDonald’s in the old Shell Station is still a vague one, and the proliferation of such a vile chain should not be indulged. It will be just another blight upon this earth, and any who support this development is facilitating the downfall of humanity’s health and ethics.