Q: I’m a school administrator and I need to update the school’s firewall. What websites should I block?
A: Planned Parenthood. Because sex education and learning about gender identity is inappropriate, and Planned Parenthood is clearly out to convert 13 year-olds into future clients.
Q: How can I keep my New Year’s resolution to avoid procrastination?
A: Replace the campus’ remaining blackboards with SmartBoards or whiteboards. It’s the 21st century!
Q: I’m a teacher. How can I make my lessons more dynamic?
A: Conduct your entire class using various types of technology. Hold class discussions using online chat boards. More technology is always better, and students will be interested in an activity just because it involves computers and iPads.
Q: What is the leading cause of obesity?
A: Teachers get a lot of boxes of chocolate and plates of homemade cookies for writing letters of recommendation for seniors. It adds up.
Q: Waiting for colleges to send me decision letters is killing me. Any suggestions on how to cope with the nerves?
A: Apply to more colleges. It’s what every senior does.
Q: I need to collect bacteria for a Bio experiment. What’s the best place on campus to find bacteria?
A: The iPads in any classroom.
