Due to the overwhelmingly negative responses to last edition’s FAQs, the La Puma staff has decided to bring the feature back this edition.
Q: I didn’t make the cut for a winter sport team. How can I keep my skills sharp so I can make the team next year?
A: A great way to keep up your agility and timing skills is to attempt to drive through the bus circle without getting into a car accident.
Q: What’s a fun way to pass time on a long car ride to visit cousins over Thanksgiving break?
A: Catch up on all those daily bulletins your 3rd period teacher didn’t have time to read.
Q: Why was the Veterans’ Day weekend a 4 day weekend this year?
A: The district and teachers’ union failed to come to an agreement on teacher pay. Students are happy about the development. “Please continue to argue,” said students. “Then we won’t be able to learn anything except how not to compromise.”
Q: Why does Campolindo have so many clubs?
A: To encourage our students to explore their diverse interests and ensure all students will feel accepted … to top colleges.
Q: What’s an easy way to remember when academic terms end?
A: The end of one quarter occurs whenever you see Principal Walker grit his teeth and haul a student off the gym floor during a rally.
Q: What’s a good anecdote to put in a college essay if I’m trying to say that I’m a honest person?
A: Be truthful and admit that your textbook with ripped pages, food stains, and holes in the cover does not deserve a “good” condition rating.
Q: How does one write a history essay?
A: Here’s the magic formula: a strong thesis and some topic sentences that clearly express your argument (1 part), lots of historical detail to back up the thesis and topic sentences (2 parts), and vocabulary words pulled out of an SAT prep book (20 parts).
Q: Why is G hall awkwardly located on the side of campus?
A: The school was forced to build G hall there because giant puddles of water covered the rest of campus.
