We’ve all had to deal with the unpredictability of Northern California weather. What might seem like a perfectly innocuous sunny day may, in fact, be chilly due to harsh winds, or a grey morning can turn into 90-degree weather by mid-afternoon. It makes wearing shorts in May feel like a game of Russian roulette. Most people can think of some day at the beach or fair that has been disturbed by rain. Or maybe the snow in Tahoe was melting just a little too fast.
Unfortunately, the weather doesn’t seem to care for human preferences. Just because we want it to be sunny doesn’t mean it will be. We have absolutely no control over it.
At this point in my life, a lot of things feel that way.
Things sometimes just feel like too much, like its all going by too fast, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
The end of the school year is a time of change for everyone. All the seniors are leaving, and a whole new class is going to attend the school next year. When I was a kindergartener, I remember looking up to the 8th graders and thinking, “They’re so old.” Yet, here I am, on the verge of being in the oldest grade public education has to offer. I’m excited, but I won’t lie; I’m a little bit nervous. I cannot deny that I feel more than a little anxious to be so close to adulthood, and all the responsibilities that come with it.
I’ve been told time and time again that the next year will be one of the most stressful times of my life. I have to decide what colleges I’ll apply to, and, later, where I’ll actually go. I’ll be moving out of my mom’s house, and have to cook all my own food, pay taxes, and go grocery shopping. I won’t be able to go to my mom if I feel blue because she could be halfway around the country. I’m definitely going to miss her home cooked meals. It feels like it’s coming way too fast even though I still have a year.
To me, that used to be the worst feeling in the world.
Occasionally, I wish the world would just freeze. That I could fly away to Neverland, and enjoy childhood just a little bit more. Yet, time inevitably moves forward. It’s an ancient fear: the slow creep of old age.
Time may change me, but I can’t change time.
So I have to accept it, and learn to enjoy each fleeting moment.
At this point, I remember that trite phrase: Don’ be sad because it’s ending, be happy because it happened. When I do leave Moraga, I’m going to look back at this community with fondness. The Friday afternoons at Nation’s, the time spent at Moraga Commons, the football games at Campolindo are what I’ll think of when I remember Moraga. I’ll remember when I’m at college and when I’m searching for a job.
I might be anxious about growing up, but I’m also looking forward to it. With all the difficulties that came with being a junior, I also had more flexibility in my classes, more opportunities to take electives, and the ability to drive myself anywhere I want to go.
Change is inevitable but it’s a part of life that we learn to live with. There’s always good things and bad things that arrive upon a shift in the foundation of our lives. The trick is to learn to recognize them, and appreciate the good rather than focus on the bad.
I’m still nervous about senior year and college, but I do know that, no matter what, life will move on. I need to accept that change, and be open to both the benefits and the negatives that appear during the course of my life.
No matter what happens, be it clear skies or rain clouds, I’m going to be ready for it.
