From middle school to high school, social status has always been a massive priority. Impressing friends and classmates is easy when you have a hand to hold. The pressure to have a significant other in high school is more harmful than one may think. For instance, missing out on school dances because someone may not have a date has been the biggest trend in conversation as of late.
Junior Jackson McCreadie shared his personal thoughts when it comes to the talk about relationships. McCreadie shared, “I believe that there is pressure to be in a relationship. From freshman year to graduation, students are constantly asked about relationships.” Being an outsider looking in, some may question why they are unable to find someone. On the other hand, people who prioritize being in a relationship may even cause a divide in their friendships.
Senior Rachel Shin argues that “people focus so hard on relationships that they move on from their friendships or they’re not highlighting the actual important things in life. They start losing their priorities by focusing so hard on what usually is a pretty temporary relationship.” This is not to say that all high school relationships are short-term, but friendships can last a lifetime.
Being the third wheel is almost always awkward. To replace this, many people try to set their friends up with people. For dances especially, if you don’t have some arm candy to pull up to a school dance with, some may look at you differently. “Everyone always asks ‘Oh like who are you dating?’ Or like ‘who is your date to Ball?’ and it is just a lot of pressure to be with somebody,” Shin stated. Junior Claire Andrzejek adds, “Especially for Prom and stuff like that, a lot of people are like ‘Oh I’m gonna set you up with someone so you have someone to go to Prom with’ or ‘Are you going to ask someone out?’” This may lead to an important question that some may ask themselves: is it possible to normalize not having a date?
McCreadie shared, “Whether it’s Prom, Homecoming or any other dance students are always asking about dates and relationships.” The constant talk about dating can sometimes make us question ourselves why we haven’t found “the one,” yet. “I do think it can be a little tiring when people are constantly talking about it just because usually I’m not that interested in always talking about it,” said Andrzejek. While we all want to hear the tea about our friends’ relationships, it can be hard to focus when we can’t relate to them and can potentially make us feel like a relationship counselor.
Shin shared an inspiring quote that many people should think about before committing to a relationship, or even when a relationship ends. Shin stated, “It’s normalized to have to be dependent on other people. No one really focuses on independence or trying to love themselves before they start getting love from somebody else.” This is not only a great life lesson that many people need to learn, but a very accurate depiction of what can feel like a “normalized” dependency on attention. McCreadie expressed something that can go unsaid, but many single people in high school could definitely agree with. “Due to relationships being such a priority, when students are not in one it can have many negative effects on the students’ self-confidence and esteem.”
The most refreshing aspect of being single in high school is not having to worry about when the doorbell will ring with a Homecoming sign waiting outside. The greatest part of life is knowing that someday the world will be ours and we will be able to make a timeline for ourselves. There is a lot of pressure in high school to be in a relationship, but ultimately we should not force ourselves to conform and try to be in a relationship because we will end up following the norm instead of following our hearts. When it is meant to be, it will come, but love is a strong word and should not be thrown around just because we want to fit in.
While it may seem like forever, high school goes by in a flash and we should live in the moment and focus on what we really want out of life. Your current situation is not your final destination, and if it is, that’s okay. Just because love may always seem like it is in the air, the most important type of love is loving ourselves.
